Spas
This is my review of every bath house I've been to in the tri-state area. All visits were paid for with my own money. I have a preference for spas with overhead cold water, really hot saunas (although I don't last long in them) and a place to take a nap/read a book.
If you're having trouble deciding where to sweat, consider this flow chart and then read on for complete details on each spa.
King Spa
The greatest place on earth.Most of the spas on this list are a small collection of saunas organized around a single relaxation space. King Spa plays a different game. This is a complex, a palace of relaxation.
There are single gender "wet" areas where attendees can scrub and soak and sweat without the constraints of clothing. This is merely your warmup. After purifying, you don your official uniform and enter the main area–nearly a dozen thematic saunas–cooler saunas incensed with mugwort and a sauna so hot that it also functions as an oven for cooking eggs.
When you're hungry, simply walk up a flight of stairs (still in uniform) to the canteen and eat genuinely delicious korean specialties like fragrant mandoo and spicy kalbi.
Eventually, you may feel so relaxed that your eyes begin to droop. Have no fear, nap areas abound–many of them inexplicably playing the golf channel. If napping isn't your thing, there are chess boards, an internet cafe (yes, really?) and spa treatments from scrubs to vaginal steaming.
Before you head back into the real world, be sure to order a Bingsoo–shaved ice covered in sweet fruit, mochi and red bean is the perfect contrast to the 200º ultra hot sauna.
Note, you need a car to get here: King Spa is ten minutes from the NJ side of the GWB.
Spa Castle
Russian Turkish Baths
Sweat like you live in a tenementWhen my great grandparents arrived from Eastern Europe, they most likely landed on the Lower East Side. And they most likely shvitzed at the Russian Turkish Baths on 10th street or somewhere similar.
Don't expect the Ritz-Carlton, the vibe is grungy and grimey. Space is limited, there aren't good places to nap or read (the roof deck is lovely, but it's weather dependent and you may wind up downwind of a smoker). The space that exists is utilized perfectly–everything you need is right there
The hot room here is no fucking joke. Sit on the top bench until you can feel your heart racing, then step to the frigid faucet in the middle of the room and dump a five gallon bucket on your head. Don't be surprised when others do the same–a trip to the Russian Turkish often involves getting sprayed with sweaty ice water. If you're feeling extra masochistic, ask for a Platza–a Russian treatment that's more BDSM than day spa.
The clientele matches the East Village: expect a mix of beatniks and tech-bros, babes and Hassidic Jews. You're here to people-watch: regulars include a guy with a rat-tail beard died rainbow and formed into a tight spiral with wire, a guy who generously doles out fruit salad and claims to have never used the internet, and an amateur dog rescuer who claims to be an orgasm wizard. If you're lucky (often on a weekday mid-day), one of them will show you how to add scence the steam room with essential oils and trick the thermometer into pulsing out endless steam.
The food is fine, but nothing to write home about–I'd just go for lunch at Superiority Burger afterwards. This definitely isn't the place to spend a day, but it's absolutely the best way to reset and recharge in the middle of Manhattan. On the way there, read up on the Boris vs. David feud, the steamiest Banya drama I know of.
Neck Road
Save on a plane ticket to MoscowSome of the other spas on this list are "Russian". This spa is RUSSIAN. The TVs in the restaurant play the Kontinental Hockey League and the chatter in the steam room is unintelligible unless you spent a year abroad in Moscow (or maybe Kyiv). New York is home to more than half a million Russian-Americans and this is their home away from home.
Unfortunately, the layout here is non-ideal: there's no cold plunge and the cold rope-pull shower is only in the Men's locker area. Saunas are limited, but there is a decent seating area for reading/napping and a giant swimming pool.
Don't fill-up before a visit to Neck Road, the food here is spectacular. The head-on garlic shrimp are crunchy and piquant and the vareniki are thin-skinned and tender.
World Spa
TikTok Luxury in the middle of nowhereWorld Spa is filled with contradictions. It's the most expensive spa on this list, yet it's on a forgotten stretch of McDonald Avenue accross from auto body repair shops and wholesale cabinet warehouses. The various rooms have roots around the world (a Turkish Hamam sits across from a Russian Banya and a Mexican Temazcal).
Rather than chaotic, somehow the place feels a bit sterile. The vibe here is one of flashy attempts at luxury that seem more designed for Instagram than real life. The "caviar dip" is made with disgusting cheap fish roe, the "biggest banya in the world" isn't. And yet, somehow the whole thing works.
In the same way that my yacht rock playlist is actually kind of awesome and a McDonald's Hamburger is somehow delicious, World Spa is a really nice place to lose track of time. It's more luxurious than Russian style spas and more convenient than King Spa. There are good places to read a book and the Banyas are truly hot. There isn't cold water directly in the saunas, but they do have an indoor snow room (yes, that's a thing).
Wall Street Spa 88
The spa the financial district deservesWall Street spa is a maze. Turn one corner and there's a smoking room complete with porno sofas. Turn another corner, and there's a massive swimming pool. Turn another and there's a spectacular restaurant.
The food here punches way above its weight class–I still dream of the garlic potatoes. Pair your meal with a Russian mineral seltzer from their extensive list of options. There's ample room to sit, read a book and pick at a pickle plate in between trips to the hot rooms.
The rooms are about average–not quite as hot as Russian Turkish, but serviceable. They have all the standbys: steam room, two hot saunas and a cold plunge.
The crowd is what you expect in the Financial District–more Republican than any other spa on this list. The last time I visited, someone was reading Peter Thiel's book in the hot room, there's an autographed photo of Andrew Huberman above the checkout desk, and I've overheard more racist language here than almost anywhere in Manhattan.
Bathhouse
Where sexy creative directors sweat it outBathhouse is what would happen if you kidnapped James Turrell at gunpoint and forced him to build a banya beneath a Midtown office building. The "vibes" here are extremely carefully curated: the lighting and architecture put form above function, and the form is striking.
Much of the space is filled with soaking tubs (a rarity in Manhattan). Around the periphery lies a sampling of hot saunas–all apparently heated by mining cryptocurrency (welcome to our dystopian future). The rooms have a solid temperature range and there are abundant cold plunges (although no overhead rope pulls). The crowd, like the saunas, is very hot. Not just good looking, hot. Think trust fund yuppies and models, tattoo artists and art directors.
While there are good places to soak and sweat, there aren't really any surfaces to sit and read or nap on. It's quite dark and the seating isn't soft enough or abundant enough to doze off on.
Reviewers note: This is about the Flatiron location, I have yet to visit the original Williamsburg location.
Bear and Birch
A fine spa that's really far awayThis spa, opened by a disgruntled Goldman Sachs banker, is fine, but definitely not worth the drive from the city. They had all of the necessary features, but I didn't connect to the spirit of the place.
Mermaid Spa
I only went here once, many moons ago, but it was mostly a Russian restaurant with a few saunas laid out poorly.
BRC Spa
I have a limited memory of my visit here, but it wasn't worth the drive.
Brooklyn Banya
I don't remember much about this place, but I didn't go back, so it can't have been great.
Places I haven't been:
Sojo, Aire, Bathhouse Williamsburg, Forest Hills Spa,